You’re not mad. You’re just….disappointed.
Disappointment is a different animal. These isolated letdowns seem benign at first glance. What many fail to realize is the cumulative effect of this type of emotional setback. Everything seems okay for quite some time. But, like drips of water falling into a bucket, these micro-aggressions merge together as one; causing no real damage as long as they are contained. The problem occurs when the borders are breeched and the deluge begins pouring over the sides of your ‘container,’ spilling into every area of life and clouding your present and ultimately impacting your future.
Disappointment causes you to doubt, colors your judgement, and gives you an excuse to isolate yourself even further from healthy relationships that you know you need in your life. It’s as if you come to a point where you convince yourself that, ‘I’m better off alone – that way I will never be disappointed again.’ I understand the logic behind those thoughts. The problem is we were not meant to go through life alone – we need connection.
When you allow disappointment to build, it colors every situation in your life. It’s like glitter from that one craft project you worked on…in college. Everywhere you look, you find glitter. It ends up on your clothes, in your closet, on your car seats, under your dog’s collar, and in your cubicle at work. You have no idea how it got there – but there it is; remnants of a project long past, reminding you of that event. A fleck of glitter is tiny, yet it draws your focus and commands your attention.
Just like disappointment.
Joyce Meyer refers to it this way, ‘We can’t expect to be sheltered by every little thing. Disappointment is a fact of life – one that must be dealt with.’ There are many ways to combat the cumulative effect of disappointments. The first is to acknowledge those moments immediately. Pretending it was ‘no big deal,’ or ‘didn’t matter anyway’ allows that event to accumulate with others just like it and, together, they grow stronger over time. Be honest about it, admit how you feel so you can move forward unencumbered by that event.
Another valuable way to deal with disappointment is in healthy relationship with others. Talking through that situation with women you know and trust in a safe environment helps you not only process the event but also can remind you of all that is good in your life. It brings perspective to situations that, when left alone, we simply can’t see.
Joyce Meyer goes on to remind us we can let disappointment, ‘Press you down until you become discouraged, even devastated; or you can use it as a stepping stone to better things.’
At Sunrise Center for Wellness, our Life Groups offer an atmosphere of support, understanding, encouragement, and accountability that help us all grow stronger through the difficulties we face in life. I invite you to join us. We are beginning a new group that meets during the day and I’d love to talk with you about it.
Contact me and let’s chat. We’ll help get your eyes off that small fleck of glitter so you can enjoy the big picture of your life and begin dreaming of the future again.