Depression Buster Self Empowerment

Depression Buster— Self Empowerment!

It’s easy to relinquish our sense of self to others.  The cost of this is a loss of our sense of power in our life.  It leads to a helpless feeling and a loss of joy in life. 

I remember the line in the movie when Tom Cruise said “You complete me!”  Culture has painted a picture for us that finding self worth and love means finding someone to ‘complete’ us.  What really happens when we depend on someone else to give our lives meaning and purpose?
We give away our personal power and our self esteem diminishes.  We can find ourselves feeling resentful when others don’t fulfill us, or when they disappoint us.  Our worth depends on their feedback.  This is a set up for depression, anxiety, and low self esteem! 
Consequently, it can be very difficult to set boundaries - to be able to say “No”.  I’ve heard it said that you can’t really say ‘yes’ unless you can also say ‘no’. Saying ‘No’ to others can be akward and uncomfortable - especially at first. But, the outcome of not setting boundaries is feeling powerless to control our time, our lives.  Know that your life purpose is not to solely  please others.  
Also, self empowerment includes a sense that “I am okay” regardless of what others may think or say.  It’s a sense of being grounded and solid in that truth.  
How can you reclaim your power? A start point is to become aware of the words you use.  Do you catch yourself saying things like “He made me angry!”  Or, “I have to go out with my coworker” (even when I don’t want to).  Challenge your thoughts on these types of scenarios.  You are the one in charge of your life decisions.  Others don’t get to decide your emotions - you do.  
Notice how it feels to reframe those statements: “I feel so angry at him!”  “I have decided to go out/not go out with my coworker”.
Learning to practice more empowering self talk involves some basic stress management techniques. If you are able to find a quiet place away, do!  Take several slow, deep belly breaths.  Let your body and your mind calm down.  Become mindful of what it feels like in your body - and then do nothing with that observation.  Simply observe. And continue to observe.  This mindful practice will actually help your body and mind relax.  
Focus on encouraging thoughts that build you up.  Try thoughts such as “I can handle this”, “I’m okay”, “These are just strong feelings and they will pass”.  Even “This hurts but I can get through it”.  
Make life choices that build your sense of personal empowerment.  Take on challenges, surprise yourself with what you can do!  Start with manageable steps.   Try to incorporate a new discipline in your life and notice how that affects your feelings about yourself. 

These are just a few ideas on increasing your sense of empowerment.  If you find you would like more support in this, please call or text Kay to set up your free consultation!