You have doubts. We all do. But this is different. This is an internal, deep-seeded doubt about your own value. You just don’t feel worthy. It’s compounded by the perfect lives you see your ‘friends’ posting on social media. They have the perfect marriage, kids that are honor students, and can make homemade pasta. From scratch! This voyeuristic manner of examining your life is not helping. Even though you know that to be true, you just don’t feel like you measure up.
You work your fingers to the bone hoping that the fulfillment you seek is just around the corner. But, it seems like the harder you work, the more elusive the corner becomes.
You’re not alone. Best-Selling author, Brene Brown calls it the if/when problem. You fall into the trap of self-defeating, fill-in-the-blanks statements like, ‘ I’ll be worthy when…’ or, ‘I’ll feel worthy if…’ Confidentially, it doesn’t matter what you put in the blank – Money, Career, Education, Pasta. These are all external markers that have absolutely no bearing on your intrinsic value. Regardless of how you feel, the truth is summed up in three words: You are worthy. Your identity and your value is based on who you are. Not what you’ve accomplished (or haven’t accomplished).
‘This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.’ That is one of the most beautiful verses of Scripture. Its beauty is not just in the prose, it is in the placement. God said these words before any of Jesus’ accomplishments; not after. God loves him and is pleased with him simply because he is his child.
He feels the same way about you.
Yet, when it comes to the topic of our own self-worth, we don’t buy it. We keep waiting until we’ve done this, or accomplished that in order to feel valued. Brene Brown puts it this way, ‘The important thing to know about worthiness is that it doesn't have prerequisites. Most of us, on the other hand, have a long list of worthiness prerequisites—qualifiers that we've inherited, learned, and unknowingly picked up along the way.’ These are the stumbling blocks that stand between you and your value.
Here’s the good news: If you’ve inherited your list, you can walk away from it. If your list has been learned, that means it can be un-learned. And, that which has been picked up can just as easily be dropped off. You don’t need more money, a new house, perfect children, an advanced degree or homemade pasta to be worthy. You are worthy right now.
Jesus accomplished many wonderful things on earth. But every accomplishment was an outpouring that came from his identity as a child of God. They were not done for his identity or in some tireless pursuit to earn value, love, or worthiness. Those key ingredients were already in place for him with no prerequisites required. From that position of being valued, loved, and worthy he accomplished amazing things. You can too.
Think about this for a moment. How different would your day be if nothing external affected your value or your self-worth? What kind of impact would this change in perspective have at home or at work? Do you think there would be a difference in your relationships? What about your choices or your outlook? New heights achieved from your identity. Not for it. There is tremendous freedom when you choose to no longer be tethered to external criteria to determine your self-worth.
That is the type of environment we foster with our life groups at Sunrise Center for Wellness. We provide a place where you can learn, grow, and connect with other amazing women; celebrated for who they are, not for what they have or have not done. Contact me and let’s get you connected.
My sincere wish is that you fully grasp how precious and worthy you are right now. Let go of the prerequisites standing between you and your value. They are nothing but roadblocks to your future. You ARE worthy. Let the beauty of that truth draw you into that special moment where you finally begin to feel as worthy as you actually are.