You have logged a lot of miles in the car since Thanksgiving. A late lunch at your in-laws is followed
by a mad dash that evening to your sister’s home. She has hosted the extended family
dinner for as long as you can remember. This pre-game ritual leads to the starting line of an
annual race which begins early morning Black Friday and, unfortunately, continues up until
the last possible minute on Christmas Eve.
This holiday season has begun to mirror your life. Each day has become a blur of activity as
undiscernible as lamp posts on the freeway whizzing by you at 65 miles per hour. It’s as if you
are propelled forward by this unseen force towards an equally unknown destination. Each day,
the same as the day before with no change in sight for the foreseeable future.
And you are fed up with this manner of living. Or, more appropriately, existing.
You want to change – in fact you need it, but you feel like the process for implementing such
a dramatic change at a personal level is just too daunting. Quite frankly you just don’t know
where to start.
You’re not alone.
That’s why we are studying Atomic Habits by James Clear in our life groups as we head into
the new year. The author suggests that your journey should start with your desired outcome
and work backwards from there. Begin with the vision or the goal and work from the results
to the type of person who could get those results. Ask yourself the question:
Who is the type of person who could get the outcome you want?
You have the power to change your beliefs about yourself. You can choose the identity you
want to reinforce today, with the habits you choose today. It all comes down to focus.
Keep your focus on becoming that person. Not on getting a particular outcome.
In other words, we’re not trying to focus on several lamp posts on a freeway zipping by as you
careen toward the future. Concentrate on one lamp post. One fixed point to illuminate your
journey. Once you have a handle on the person you want to be, you can begin taking small
steps to reinforce that identity.
The most practical way to change who you are is to change what you do. In Atomic Habits,
Best-Selling Author, James Clear describes this as a two-way street called Feedback Loops.
Your habits shape your identity and your identity shapes your habits.
‘All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision.
But as that decision is repeated, a habit sprouts and grows stronger.’ James Clear
You can do this. In fact, you’re already on your way, starting with the decision you just made.
The good news as you begin this journey is you do not have to embark on it alone. At Sunrise
Center for Wellness we have safe and welcoming groups with smart, caring, and wonderful
women who understand. They have walked a similar path and can encourage you as you traverse
Contact me. Groups for the new year are forming soon.
I’d love to talk with you about your journey and stand with you as you allow this lamp post to
provide clear light and direction for you. It will be a joy and a privilege to walk alongside you
and celebrate with you as you reach your chosen destination - becoming you.