Transitions

What are some of the transitions you have experienced in your life?

Maybe you had a child, became an ‘empty nester’, started a new relationship, or experienced the ending of a relationship, found a new job, lost a job, became a parent, or maybe changes in your health?

Life is full of changes! As the saying goes ‘The only one sure thing is change’.

But, for most of us, changes can be difficult. Especially when we didn’t invite the change. Even positive changes - such as the job promotion - can create stress and unexpected loss. There may be down sides to the positive change. No longer are you enjoying your lunch with previous coworkers, or perhaps the commute got longer with the pay increase.

Author William Bridges makes a distinction between change and transition. He identifies change as external (such as a move to a new home, a new job). By contrast, transition is the internal process that is triggered by the external change.

Sometimes people try to avoid the internal psychological process of transition. “Everybody wants to be somebody; nobody wants to grow.” Goethe True, growth causes growing pains. It can be downright excruciating! It’s understandably tempting to deny/avoid the feelings that we experience with loss and change.

I’ve heard other sayings that relate to this such as “The only way around is through” and “Grief is patient …..it waits”. At times in my life when I’ve found myself on the tough road of transition I’ve wished that these sayings weren’t true! I’ve wanted to run away from what I was feeling and hoped the feelings would go away!

In my work, I’ve met many people who’ve attempted to avoid their internal work of transitions. In some cases, they’ve attempted to ‘stuff’ unresolved transitions deep inside, but find their growth stagnated and their joy in life dulled. Decades later, they find themselves in my office struggling with the unresolved losses from the past they had never let themselves fully grieve.

Facing transition often involves tolerating a sense of being lost in the wilderness. It can be a time of great uncertainty - letting go of the old - before the new is in sight. Unnerving to say the least!

In my own life experience, I’ve found that having an emotionally supportive community around me was an enormous help in tolerating that wilderness! Community not only created something of a buffer between myself and the pain, but I also moved more quickly through life’s transitions when I had that support.

These experiences have inspired my desire to bring women together to support one another as they are in the process of transitions. In small groups - with a maximum of 8 women- safety and intimacy are fostered. Respect, kindness, confidentiality, and encouragement are the norm in the Women’s Life Coaching groups.

In addition to the emotional support, I provide an educational component as a framework to help you walk through the transition process. Understanding that your feelings and experience are normal can be very validating. That validation can make it easier to tolerate the inevitably uncomfortable feelings that transition brings.

If you are going through transition in your own life and would like to connect with other women - where you can both provide and receive encouragement, please text, call or email Kay today.